Today's Girls

A teenage girl walking down the street with her arms around her boyfriend...and his hands on her butt, that's a bold girl.  A 15 year-old girl sitting on her sweetheart's lap at a family party...that's what I consider a liberal familia.  A H.S. sophomore laying in bed watching TV with her novio, with the door open or closed...is she suicidal?  Maybe not...after all.  

My mom would say that today's girls "no tienen verguenza"...they have no shame.  I would say they're bolder because their environment is allowing them to be.  Now, is that good, bad or just different from how we were brought up?

I will say this...I found myself gasping for air when I saw that my cousin, a 100% Latino man, allows his teenage-daughter to hang out in bed with her boyfriend...and that it's normal for them.  Grant it, they were fully clothed and watching a movie.  Am I officially a vieja for thinking it's inappropriate?  That would be soooo far from okay in my parent's household.  It would be considered downright disrespectful and I'm not sure I would be here, typing away right now, if I was that teen girl. 

Now, I'm not claiming that I was an angel as a teen.  I did commit some PDA "offenses"...but of course, when my parent's weren't looking.  I even had a few friends who were sexually active at 15.  That's no different from today's young ladies.  I don't want to sound like a prude.  In fact, I think girls need to be armed with information about sex so that they can protect themselves.  For our girls' sake, parents can't be naive.  But flaunting it in public...is that a different story?

I guess my overall question is...are girls losing something by displaying so much PDA or are we hypocrites for frowning upon it?

Comments

[Ingrid]

Honestly, I vote hypocrites. lol

I wasn't sexually active at 15 but there was a lot of PDA in my world and I'm sure people could've assumed a lot about me and been quite honestly mistaken.

What I was, was a very confident emerging woman who was open about her standards and knew how to set her own limits.

[gloria]

Hi Ingrid,

Thanks for your comment!

Did you display all that PDA in front of your mom? If not, would she have been ok had she seen it? Where do you think you got your sense of limits from?

My limit was pretty clear too: no sex 'til I got married. Yes, I was young and naive...lol. Seriously, I was far from being sexually active at 15 and I think that's a good thing. The fear my mother instilled in me was incentive enough to keep my legs glued for a long time. She would say things like..."don't you dare get pregnant" but mind you, without ever explaining how that could happen. That was pretty much our sex talk. It's not necessarily what I would recommend that mothers do...but in my case it worked.

As far as PDA, I was pretty shy. I was always scared that my aunt, neighbor or X family friend would see me. Yes, I was a bit paranoid too.

Glad those years are over!

-gloria

[Ingrid]

Well there was a lot of laying down on the couch watching TV stuff. When my mother came into the room we would get up because it felt awkward to me but not because my mother would've been angry about that and it wasn't a quick, "Oh snap she's going to be pissed" move. It was more of a politeness issue. I wasn't going to be that "intimate" no matter who was going to be staying in the same room. Not too much kissing in front of her but there was a lot of lap sitting and hugging. And she knew (although not in great detail) that more was going on besides kissing on the mouth.

Honestly, my limits came from me. My mother never "put the fear" into me about sex. She was very frank about life's realities though. I just knew I wasn't going to do it before I was 17- it seemed like a good age in my mind. I also had goals etc... I didn't want to get pregnant because I didn't want to deal with a baby or an abortion. I wanted to go to college. I was going to an expensive, all-girl, catholic school and knew that would be over if I got pregnant and I liked my school. I could go on and on about my reasons. There were a lot of them. lol

[gloria]

Hi Ingrid,

You know that "politeness" you're talking about, that sense of respect...that's what I feel some girls are missing.

I think your mom's approach is the best...being open about sex and its consequences is the way to go.

Best,
gloria

[B. Margarita Ramirez]

My Mom & Dad were both open about sex talk but also "fear" giving to the point that I really thought I would never have sex...ever!!!
I think there should be a happy medium...I could never let my 15 yr. old be in bed with her boyfriend...but then again I don't have a child yet...so I don't really know what I will permit. But I don't want my children BOTH son or daughter not think about respecting not only me but themselves.

[gloria]

Hi B,

Your dad talked to you about sex? How did that conversation go?

Best,
Gloria

[Ingrid]

Yeah, our society doesn't really care for manners nowadays. Continuing to be all gushy on the couch/bed/whatever when someone walks in is akin to keeping your back to them when they enter the room IMO.

[gloria]

Hey Ingrid,

Does IMO mean in my opinion? I'm not up on the lingo.

-gloria

[Ingrid]

IMO= in my opinion.

[cheap soft cialis]

When I was pregnant I has the same feelings about that, so be patient.

[discount coach]

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes.

[Jordans 4]

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

[coach suitcase]

Use a dictionary and grammar guide constantly. Keep a small English dictionary with you at all time. When you see a new word, look it up. Think about the word - use it, in your mind, in a sentence.