the girly network

Little People, Big Personalities

Ruds and I have had the pleasure to witness these two little people develop big personalities. They are both 6 years old, but they couldn't be more different.

JC, my sister's son, is a really tender and lovable boy.  He likes sleeping over at my place and keeps me company while I cook.  We've also bonded over the lettuce dryer...he loves it just as much as I do (btw, it's my favorite kitchen gadget ever).  My nephew genuinely wants to help me with everything, including throwing the garbage out and making my bed.  I couldn't ask for a sweeter little helper.  I'm also amazed by JC's intuitiveness, photographic memory and artistic abilities.  He's super observant. The other day he came over and said, "Tia, I love your new light in the hallway. It's beautiful."  JC is the only one so far who's noticed our new light fixture.

On the other hand, we have Kay, my sister-in-law's daughter. Our niece is really spunky, a tomboy and really a 20-year-old trapped in a first grader's body.  Kay is not your stereotypical "girly-girl"...and I love her for it!  She's not afraid to question adults' decisions or rough-up her 10-year-old boy cousin.  This girl is smart and she knows it. Over the holidays, we took JC and Kay to the American Museum of Natural History and to a local pizza shop.  It had been about a month since their last play date.  Side note: when these two get together, clearly there could only be one person in charge...and she's assumed that responsibility.  While eating our slices, Ruds asked JC how long he'd been sick, since he was coughing quite a bit that afternoon. Before, he could even gather his thoughts, Kay was answering for him.  "Two days", she replied assertively. "How in the world do YOU know?", Ruds asked her. She rolled her eyes with an attitude.  That sums her up in a nutshell.

I'm often struck by how these two little characters defy all the stereotypes...he is not rough and although Kay wears pink, she's far from delicate.  I'd like to inject JC with a double-shot of confidence and toughness, so he doesn't let Kay, or any other 6-year-old, boss him around.  So, how do you teach a kid to get a backbone?  Anyone? As for Kay, well I just want to continue to challenge her mind and encourage her vivaciousness.  She's truly a leader in the making.

'You can always adopt...'

Ruds + Gloria + ?????                                         GR for the girly network

Isn't that what you say to people when they can't have kids?  My Dominican mother-in-law told my husband that the other day over the phone and I thought it was the funniest thing ever.  She's assumed that since we've been married for over 2 years and we're not pregnant yet...we're infertile. I guess the notion that we're not trying hasn't even crossed her mind.   After all, she had her babies in her 20s...so, I think she's nervous that I'm thirtysomething and there's no belly in sight.  Well, at least not that type of belly.

I know that at thirtysomething...my pregnancy risks are greater and my eggs are not getting any younger...but what do you do when you're just not in a rush to be a mother?  My clock just ticks slower and I'm totally okay with that.  The hardest part is constantly explaining to others why we don’t have kids...and dare I say it, that it's been by choice.  It doesn't matter where we are...whether it's a family gathering or a business lunch...the topic seems to be unavoidable. 

I've been through my phases of emotions, when handling the subject.  Two years ago was my angry stage.  The question, "so, when are you having a baby?", simply made my blood boil.  Most of the time, the interviewer was some nosy old lady...the nail salon owner and my new neighbor included.  It seemed that everyone had a license to drill me.  I would think to myself, “¡Dale con la misma preguntadera!” or “here we go again with the 1,000 questions”.  I've been known to run away from that conversation the second I sensed it was coming...like literally run.  If they caught me off-guard, I would say..."oh, we don't want kids" or "we're thinking in 2020" or "one of these days".  I would do my best to change the subject or to give them an answer that would shut them up, if only for the moment.  Ironically, our parents & siblings haven't really questioned our family plans.  I'm assuming my mom is leaving it up to God and la Virgen Maria (Virgin Mary)...and now I fully understand my mother-in-law's silence. 

I'm happy to report that today I'm at a different phase of my life.  I've resigned myself to accept THE question.  The bebé talk no longer ruptures my blood vessels...maybe because after years and years I've come to expect it...or maybe because I can now envision the type of mother I will one day be.  I guess it depends on the day you catch me.

The missing ring on my left finger

                                                                                                                GR for the girly network

Sometimes I wear my wedding ring and sometimes I don't.  What surprises me is how controversial this could be in some circles.  Well, for me, it's by no means a sign of whether my marriage is doing great vs. on the rocks. 

My husband, who religiously wears his wedding band, doesn't get offended that half the times we're out, I've forgotten to wear mine.  He's seen me in action enough times to understand that sometimes I just forget.  After all, any time I leave my house, I run all over the place looking for my keys, wallet and phone.  If I remember, I add my beautiful platinum band to that list.  If I forget again, well it's not any bigger deal than me forgetting to wear my pearl earrings or my favorite bracelet.  I guess my point is that I don't quite understand how this piece of jewelry could lead to such office gossip and ugly assumptions when they're absent.  Personally, my pretty 5-stone diamond ring is a symbol of the commitment Ruds and I made 2 years ago to each other.  It is meant to be a reminder...but the real commitment is ingrained in my brain and in my heart. 

So, what is it about the wedding ring that makes some people feel MORE married?  Is there such a thing?  Or is it that socially, we've come to expect everyone to follow the same lead?  If you've walked down the aisle, you announce it to the world by wearing a ring on your left finger...and if you've said "I do", but you're missing bling, you are headed for divorce court.  I'm wondering, when did this become the cardinal rule?  I've witnessed it time and time again.  One girlfriend stopped wearing her ring the minute she decided splitsville was a better destination.  I also have an acquaintance who conveniently took off her band anytime it was girls' night out at the bar.  Well, you can guess where that couple ended up. 

In any event, the next time you notice your married co-worker with a missing ring...it could very well mean that she's thrown her husband's clothes all over the lawn or maybe she's just a wife with an overly active brain.

Sasha is adorable!

While watching the inauguration, I kept wondering what the Obama girls were thinking as they witnessed their dad become our 44th President.  Sasha Obama sums it up nicely.

A joyous day

 

I started my day feeling a bit nervous, excited and overwhelmed with emotion.  I found it hard to breathe at times.  No, I'm not exaggerating.  Even though I'm far from the electrifying crowd that gathered at The National Mall, I could feel the enormity of the moment.  I grabbed my box of tissues and sat next to my hubby just as President Barack Obama laid his hand on Lincoln's bible.  What a great day to share with our fellow Americans.  I'm in awe everytime I see the sea of faces...of every color imaginable.  This is what America really looks like!  I wish I could bottle today's feeling of hope, promise and joy...so we could open it everytime we need a little inspiration.  What an honor to be a witness...if only from my flat screen tv in my livingroom.

Reconnecting on facebook...

 

    ...is much easier when you can identify the people who are trying to befriend you.  When someone who just doesn't look familiar sends me a friend request and I feel like I should know them because we have friends in common, I save their requests.  I look at their photos periodically to see if I recognize any traces of that person I supposedly used to know.  Maybe the eyes?  Okay, what about the smile?  I try to picture them thinner...and younger, since most of us have put on a few pounds and look somewhat hmmm...aged.  I often wonder if people who haven't seen me in years look at my pic and say to themselves 'gosh, she looks way different'...and different not in a good way.  Sometimes, you can't help your initial reaction.  It is what it is. There are some pics of former classmates where I can't help but think, 'Wow, life has been tough on her.'  Other times, I'm struck by how they can look exactly the same way they did x amount of years ago.  I'm secretly sending those girls an email and asking them to spill their beauty secrets.  I'll keep you posted in case they respond. 

Free...is my new favorite word

 
                                                                                                       GR for Girly Network

***UPDATE: This place is closed for renovation.  No word as to when it's scheduled to re-open.

In this economy, you better believe I appreciate the free things!  Here's another free WiFi hotspot in Queens:

Sonoma Cafe
116-28 Queens Blvd
Forest Hills, NY 11375
718. 268. 2216

"And I...will always love you" ...remember Whitney Houston singing The Bodyguard soundtrack?  Well, I can't get those lyrics out of my head, thanks to the instrumental version that's playing right now at Sonoma Cafe.  They have a cd with instrumental old-school jams here that they play over and over.  A little annoying if you ask me, but nothing your own ipod can't fix. 

The pros to Sonoma Cafe:

1. The owners are super sweet and friendly. If an old lady is ready to leave, they're quick to get the door for her. They greet you, they smile and they make you feel very welcomed.

2. You can hang out for hours and it doesn't seem to bother them.  Of course, I always buy something.

3. It's a spacious cafe with comfortable seating.  I go there all the time and I'm always surprised that it's not busier.  While I love that it's peaceful and quiet for my own selfish reasons, I'm concerned that it won't survive with dos pelones or a handful of people coming in. 

4. They have a nice selection of loose leaf teas. I'm a fan of the peach/mango one.  Their regular coffee is ok...it's actually not very strong.  I've also had their lattes...and they're good. I think the first time I came here I was comparing it to my 'tall skim latte' from Starbucks and I was a little disappointed.  Overall, their drinks are pretty good.

5. It's just an overall great alternative to the Starbucks that's up the block. 

One con:

1. I think they could use healthier selections on their menu.  They have really good cheesecake, but I can't have that too often.  Maybe they could sell some fruit? 

For my Queens peeps...

                                                                                                                                GR for Girly Network        

I'm a proud Queens resident and now that my freelance work is super slow...I've been spending more time in this wonderful borough. I've been looking around for FREE wifi spots in my neighborhood.  I noticed they're actually hard to come by!  So, I'll share with you my findings as I go along...just in case you're ever in my 'hood and need a place to log on. Here' s the scoop on Oko:

Oko Forest Hills
71-50 Austin Street
Forest Hills, NY 11375
718. 268. 6010

**It's a small cafe --brand new to the Forest Hills area...and I welcome it with open arms.  Up until 2 months ago, there was nothing like it.  Sure, there are 2 Starbucks within a 3-block radius, cute coffee shop with delish pastries on Austin St. (Martha's Bakery), but no cafe with free internet service. 

Here are the pros of this place, aside from the free wifi:

a) Mike, the friendly guy behind the counter
b) the music...how can you go wrong with old school Madonna?
c) brightly decorated --I'm loving the orange!
d) Organic tea/coffee, sandwiches, pastries and yogurt.  I've only had the green tea and a light version of a cheese cake (yummy!)...but so far so good.   
e) Sandwiches are $3 after 5pm.  Perfect for those of us watching our wallets.

The only con I found :

a) It's a small cafe.  It only seats about 12 people.

a blast from the past

Recently, thanks to facebook...I've had many re-connections from HS Classmates and people I just fell out-of-touch with.  I'm excited to hear from most of them...but there are the occasional people you just have no idea who they are or why they're writing to you...after all, you don't even remember ever having a conversation with.  What's up with that?

In any event, I just got a "friend request" from a guy who I was fairly close to back in HS.  BTW, he falls under the I'm-happy-to-hear-from-you category.  The funny thing is that he proceeds to share with me that he has "a lot to tell me about my boy", meaning my ex-boyfriend.  Okay, a part of me feels even silly to be intrigued...but I am intrigued.  Maybe I need to set the stage...we are talking about my HS sweetheart, the guy who will always be special -even when I turn 50, the captain of the basketball team and protagonist of my love life for YEARS and YEARS, even after we had broken-up...all at the tender age of 17...nearly 17 years AGO...YIKES!!!!  Crap, I feel old when I put it like that. 

Anyway, I do wonder where in the world he is...and if he ever found the soul he was searching for...but I do realize that some things are better left to the imagination...

I'm a virgin...

...to the blogging world...'til now.  I can't believe I'm up and running!  First and foremost, a HUGE shout-out to Typepad for giving me a FREE blogging home.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  The "bailout program for journalists" couldn't have come at a better time.  Seriously, I know I would've made-up 100 reasons in my head to procrastinate.  Overall, I must say it was really easy to set-up.

Welcome to the Girly Network!  My name is Gloria and I'm a thirtysomething writer/producer living in NYC.  I'm a Latina, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a tia and a friend.  And that's just a few hats I wear.

So, what's the "girly network" you ask?  In a nut-shell, it's a lifestyle blog for the thirtysomething ladies.  I was inspired to jumpstart this blog after reading Tina Brown's blog, thedailybeast.com.  It was an article by Scott McClellan (former White House Press Secretary) reviewing the movie "W" that sparked my idea.  I thought it was great to get someone who was a part of Pres. Bush's inner circle to give us some insight --to have him share what was accurate about the movie, what was exaggerated and what was most impressive.  I remember thinking..."what a network of friends Tina Brown has!"  In any event, I'm not Tina Brown and my friends are not White House insiders (at least not yet) ...but it made me wonder...what if I was able to share my girly (a term of endearment for me) network's thoughts, stories and all the behind-the-scenes of being thirtysomething?  Interesting?  Well, you'll be the judge.  I'll tell you this much...my girly network is an eclectic bunch.  They do have some traits in common though...they're intelligent, opinionated, loving and supportive.  They're my spiritual comadres, if you will.  I'm counting on them to help me fuel this blog with lots of colorful talk...about relationships, food, wine, work, books, beauty, fashion and everything in between.  You might even hear from them directly.  So, here's to expanding that sisterly network.